"I Seriously Can't Stand That Kid!"

Becoming that kid all adults love!

A group of teachers stood chatting amongst themselves at recess when an overly rambunctious third-grader ran between them screaming with delight that he had infiltrated the teacher coalition.  His courageous coup was met with disapproving head-shakes, whistles blowing, and shouting as he vanished behind the backstop.  "I seriously can't stand that kid!" expressed one of the teachers.  The response was met with an overwhelming vibrato of agreement.  

Whether at school, or the mall or even church, we have all come in contact with that kid that just seems to rub all adults the wrong way.  They are abrasive, disrespectful and seem to be on a constant mission to irritate.  So how do we help students become "that kid all adults love"? 

As a child, I remember my mother's last words spoken to me every time I left the house; "Remember who you are and who you represent."  As a kid I thought my mom was nuts.  I mean, how could I possibly forget who I was?  I was pretty sure that the chances of experiencing blunt force trauma to my head, resulting in amnesia, were pretty slim.  I also determined that "remember who I represent" was her polite way of saying, "don't embarrass me or your family."  I really had no intentions of embarrassing anyone, but especially not my dad.  

You see, I was raised in the military.  My father was an officer in the Air Force.  This upbringing exposed me to a plethora of behavior that demonstrated respect.  I was in awe at the manner in which men would salute my father, and he them.  I loved the way they stood at attention and listened. These were images that taught me to carry myself confidently and respectfully. This carried over into our home.  We said, "yes sir" and "yes ma'am."  Instructions were given and followed.  My parents always had defined expectations as boundaries.  Rules were expected to be followed.  Everything was not open for negotiation.  There were definite consequences for choices made.

School had similar expectations.  I would never dream of being disrespectful to any teacher, as they were an adult and I had been taught to be respectful. I wanted to learn and teachers found it a challenge to keep me busy as I would finish quickly and accurately.  I was well liked by teachers, but perhaps it was because I was a real nerd.  I was also overweight, red-headed, and wore blue cat-eye glasses.  I worked even harder to be accepted.  Now, that's not to say teachers only like nerds, or fat little red haired kids, oh contraire.  Teachers like students who follow directions, work hard and show respect.  We like students who are genuine and nice.

I have a reputation of being a "firm," yet "fair" teacher.  I make my expectations known and I do not vary from them.  They are consistent and they are taught and practiced.  Some of my students come into my classroom with a strong foundation that their parents have established.  Others come with much lacking.  I have seen students yell at their parents and even spit in their faces.  It saddens me.  No child should be allowed to behave in this manner.  I don't allow it in my classroom.  I have reprimanded students in front of parents, reminding them that this type of behavior is not accepted in our classroom.  I have also reprimanded parents who have openly humiliated their child in my classroom, reminding them of the same expectations.  I do not enable, coddle or offer continuous repreve.   Some parents appreciate this, while others do not.

As a parent, I am grateful that I have children that adults like.  Numerous teachers have expressed how kind and respectful my boys are.  And guess what?  I too instruct my kids to "remember who they are."

I have a classroom where there is no guessing of expectations nor consequences.  I celebrate their ability to be responsible and respectful.  I applaud their kindness and consideration.  I always distinguish between their behaviors and who they are.  They often will hear that while I love them, I do not like the choices they have made.  I tell my students about my mom's instructions.  They laugh and then they soon hear me reminding them of not only my expectations, but their parents as well and to "remember who they are."

Adults love well behaved children.  Teachers love well behaved children.  Well behaved children are developed in homes and classrooms with clear and consistent expectations.

Blast from my past is a great end to this blog....Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young said it well when they instructed us to "teach the children well..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVaqZajq-I